3 Ways Your Friends can Help Fight Depression
Depression can be an all-consuming force. It can rob you of your physical strength, optimism, emotional vibrancy, and even your desire to live. It can be a tornado that sucks up and destroys everything it touches. In Psalms 6:6,7, King David said, "I am weary with my moaning; every night I flood my bed with tears; I drench my couch with my weeping. My eye wastes away because of grief; it grows weak because of all my foes." If you've ever struggled with depression, you may be familiar with this experience. Severe depression is distinct in that it robs you of hope or a sense of being able to "get yourself together," so to speak. Unfortunately, during these seasons of severe depression, simply having truth in mind is often not enough to break the hold that depression can have on an individual. So what hope is there for weakening depression's grasp?
We can break the grasp of depression and allow the opportunity for healing.
Depression thrives on supposed evidence that validates its existence. Depression uses its destructive presence as a reason for its continued existence, causing a downward spiral of unhelpful emotions and reactions. Here's an example, something discouraging happens, and you become depressed. Depression then pushes you into isolation. That isolation becomes a validation for the depressing feelings of loneliness. While we can not go back and change the original harmful experience, the downward spiral of unhelpful reactions (and further validation) can be interrupted. We can break the grasp of depression and allow the opportunity for healing. One of the most powerful means of breaking depression's grasp is a group of close, faithful friends. Here are 3 ways faithful friends can help you fight depression and to break its hold.
Faithful friends can lighten life's load for a period of time. How would you feel if you were carrying a heavy sack and broke your leg yet were still required to carry that sack? Probably a bit depressed. Galatians 6:2 says, "Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." When there is a group of believing friends, it is possible to divide the burdens for a period of time, allowing the hurt individual to deal with the pressing matter of their injury. For example, offering to babysit so that a struggling parent can take a much-needed guilt-free break. The need for helpful friends is one of the reasons I believe life happens best in community. No one is meant to do life alone, and there is no time when that is more evident than seasons of depression brought on by overwhelming demands.
Faithful friends can help overcome pressing circumstances. Depression can result from unforeseen circumstances or acute events. These are situations that demand an immediate resolution and from which you can not see a way out. Faithful friends willing to help alleviate the burden can overcome these pressing circumstances. For example, helping out financially when an unexpected medical bill arrives. In Matthew 5:42, Jesus says, "Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you." Additionally, 1 John 3:16,17 reads, "By this we know what love is: Jesus laid down His life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. If anyone with earthly possessions sees his brother in need, but withholds his compassion from him, how can the love of God abide in him?"
Change the heart-narrative. Depression tells a story to the depressed. It tells a story of betrayal and victimization, causing them to view themselves as under constant assault. Depression weaves a tale of them being unworthy, unloved, and unnecessary. The Bible is full of people who felt abandoned by friends or by God at one point or another (See King David, Elijah, Jeremiah, etc.) A group of faithful friends can change this narrative. Hebrews 3:13 encourages us to "exhort one another daily." 1 Thessalonians tells us, "Therefore encourage one another with these words." Proverbs 16:24 says, "Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body." Reminding the depressed of their worth is important. This needs to come from close, faithful friends who back up their words with their presence because it's the presence of faithful friends that interrupts the narrative of loneliness. Imagine a story being narrated - "And her friends reminded her that she was never alone....but she sat alone in her house day after day." Say it, mean it, and do it. Depression looks for evidence to support its continued existence. However, the presence of faithful friends can suck the wind out of that argument.
Much of what holds an individual in depression can be broken by the influence of a group of faithful friends. Close friends can lighten the load of life's responsibilities when we are injured or worn out. They can help us by relieving unusual difficulties and changing our heart's narratives when we become stuck in a depressing cycle. The Bible says, "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." This role of faithful friends can not be filled by passing acquaintances but by brothers and sisters committed during times of adversity. Faithful friends pray, and faithful friends act.
If you do not have a group of 2 or 3 faithful friends, I want to encourage you to make a list of people with whom you can cultivate a close relationship. Then, pray for them and intentionally develop a relationship wherein you can be safe in sharing your struggles and call on them during times of adversity.
