“Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment.” - Proverbs 18:1 (ESV)

We all go through difficult seasons from time to time. While there are many things we can do to help sustain us during those sessions, rarely is isolation one of them. When navigating challenging seasons seldom is it wise to choose to isolate ourselves. The reason we often make this mistake usually comes from seeking our “own desire.” Proverbs 18:1 says, “Whoever isolates himself seeks his desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment.” The context for isolation can involve ignorance of the need for community, hidden sin, or pride. Regardless, each of these results in a crippled spiritual life, since we are designed to live in a community with other believers who hold us accountable.

Sometimes, out of ignorance, we separate ourselves from fellowship and, subsequently, accountability. Maybe we have grown up in a home or tradition that did not value the fellowship. One in which our parents rarely attended church or made the point to surround themselves with other believers. This can impact our view of fellowship. Maybe there is no emphasis on genuine relationships at the church we presently attend. Instead, we come only to attend the worship service. After that has concluded, we make our way to the parking lot as quickly as possible, avoiding deeper conversations and, inadvertently, the relationships needed for a healthy spiritual life.

Life happens best in a community. The Bible calls us to exhort, encourage, and love one another. Ninety-four times in the New Testament is the phrase “one another” used. We all need community. Community is an indispensable part of a growing relationship with Jesus. He said, “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” John 13:35. Loving another is part of being a disciple of Jesus and an essential element to being his witness in the world. We can not afford to ignore this command, looking out only for our desires and convenience.

Hidden sin can also be the reasons behind isolation. Fear of being discovered to have sinned or to be living in sin causes some to avoid the intimacy and honesty demanded by authentic relationships. Also, if one desires to hide sin in their lives, they may only choose to engage in relationships in a shallow manner. Opting to avoid discussing areas of weakness or maybe even lie to avoid being found out. Regardless of the tactic, the motive is clear: seeking one’s desire. In this case, the love of sin outweighs the love of the Lord. Instead of choosing to indulge in sin, expose it to brothers or sisters who can walk alongside during seasons of struggle and offer support through prayer and wise counsel. 

Lastly, pride can cause us to separate ourselves since we may believe community is unnecessary. Truth is: we are no more foolish than when believing we do not need others. Proverbs 11:14 reminds us, “Without guidance, a people will fall, but with many counselors, there is deliverance.” We are doomed to fail if we, in pride, isolate ourselves from support. “For if either falls, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to lift him up” (Ecclesiastes 4:10). None of us have all the answers. We require the wisdom of godly friends. None of us are strong enough to walk alone; we require the support of godly friends. 

Community is part of walking with Jesus. When we become self-focused, we begin to isolate ourselves. However, the more we grow in the word of God, walk in sanctification, and humble ourselves, the more we see our spiritual health depends on the love and support that results when we build meaningful relationships in the church. 

It can be challenging to overcome past wounds that may lead us to isolation. Read “The Revived Heart” and discover the hope and encouragement that result when God takes us from hurt to healing to helping.